These Unhinged Shoppers Are the Reason Self-Checkout Was Invented

Built for Speed, Not Stealth

It gives rush hour, but make it motorized and full throttle through frozen foods. Four shoppers lined up like a bumper car derby that broke out in aisle 12 and ended at checkout. Whatever got them moving in formation, it probably had something to do with half-priced snack cakes and mutual respect for personal wheels.

There’s something magical about watching a mini traffic jam form under fluorescent lights while staff pretend this is business as usual. These carts weren’t made for speed, but somehow this lineup still looks ready to start a conga line through household cleaners. Turn signals are optional, but snacks are non-negotiable.

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